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The Oscars goodie bag worth $250K is absolutely ridiculous

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In a time of economic fragility, it’s only right that a ludicrous amount of money is spent on totally unnecessary stuff for the overprivileged. God bless you, Oscar.

Last year, there was $125,000 worth of gifts for the nominees in the Best Actor/Actress and Best Director categories, including liposuction vouchers, luxury condoms and $20,000 “mind control” lessons from a psychic. Because that’s what people want. This year, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences have decided it just wasn’t enough, so the goodie bags are worth $250K this year, with gifts including a trip to Israel, a “Vampire breast lift” (which uses blood to enhance the appearance of a woman’s breasts – but you knew that already), and something called an “arouser” for women.

Take a look at the contents of the goodie bag below.

The Oscars goodie bag

A 10-day, first-class trip to Israel: $55,000

A year’s worth of unlimited Audi car rentals from Silvercar: $45,000

A 15-day walking tour of Japan: $45,000

A lifetime supply of skin creams from Lizora: $31,200

Halo Purely for Pets donation of pet food to an animal shelter: $6,300

A Fit Club TV “Ultimate Fitness Package” in a private villa: $6,250

Ultherapy, a laser skin-tightening procedure: $5,530

A Steamist Total At Home Spa: $5,060

Unspecified gift from the Grand Hotel Excelsior Vittoria, Sorrento: $5,000

Unspecified gift from the Grand Hotel Tremezzo, Lake Como: $5,000

Unspecified gift from the Golden Door Spa, California: $4,800

Delovery personalised gift baskets: $2,000

A “Vampire Breast Lift”: $1,900.

Three private training sessions with Jay Cardiello, a “celebrity wellness expert” and star of ABC’s My Diet Is Better Than Yours: $1,400

Personal fitness sessions with celebrity trainer Alexi Seletzky: $900

Sundial Power Coating: $500

Belldini clothing: $300+

Personalised M&Ms: $300

Joseph’s Toiletries “The Welcomer”, including six packs of the “most soothing and absorbent tissue paper in the world”: $275

Nuelle Fiera Arouser For Her: $250

A Haze Dual V3 Vaporiser: $249.99. (Despite the fact that guests at the Oscars won’t be allowed to use vapes.)

Products from the Healing Saint by Dr Jane 360 range: $193

Lat & Lo jewelry: $150

Caolion skin care: $134

Tribute: $125

Zekkle Edge: $125

Sedona Lace makeup brushes: $109.95

A Rouge Maple selection box including Maple Syrup, salad dressing, mustard: $99

El Silencio mezcal: $75

Signature Vodka: $70

Phantom Glass screen protector: $49.95-$59.95

Memobottle plastic water bottles: $47

Greenhill Winery & Vineyards: $39

Chocolatines treats: $35

Slimware: $29.95

Farm Wife Style handmade jewelry: $25

Dandi antiperspirant patch: $21

Purely Inspired Organic Protein: $19.97

Hydroxycut weight-loss Gummies: $19.98

Gleener on the Go portable lint brush: $11.99

Mission1 Clean Protein Bar: $5.64/box

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